This week’s piece is a heavy one.
It starts with a teacher I’m genuinely worried about, and a leadership tension I can’t ignore.
Stick with me here.
It’ll feel a little uncomfortable, but we’ll get to a solution.
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The Trap of Being the One Who Handles It All, Part 1
I knew she was drowning long before she ever came to me.
She never said it out loud.
There weren’t any emails, meeting requests, or silent signals asking for help.
The signs were much more subtle:
Her car was in the parking lot every weekend — both days.
Her report cards were perfect, without errors.
And I could always rely on her to say yes to the new initiative.
From the outside, everything worked.
Her instruction was strong, relationships were solid, and the classroom ran like clockwork.
In fact, she’s one of the best teachers I’ve had the pleasure of working with.
Thoughtful.
Skilled.
Deeply attuned to kids.
Exactly the kind of educator schools quietly lean on because they can handle it.
Every ball stayed in the air.
But this past week, something happened that I couldn’t ignore.
A colleague quietly pulled me aside and shared that this same teacher had come to them after school one day in tears.
They were spent, overwhelmed, and barely keeping up.
And that’s got me worried about her.
I’ve been close enough to that edge myself to recognize the patterns — exhaustion hidden under competence, strain masked by capability, and the pressure to make it all work no matter the cost.
What worried me just as much, though, was that she wasn’t coming to me.
I don’t see that as an indictment of me, but rather as a key leadership insight.
When staff stop sharing honestly, trust begins to leak.
And I had missed it.
I wasn’t paying attention.
Today’s classrooms are relentlessly complex: heavy caseloads, identified and unidentified learning needs, and ongoing or unresolved traumas.
Add in the work teachers want to do well, like field trips, team sports, and engaging environments, and the important work that lives on the side of the desk stretches deep into evenings and weekends.
The load is heavy and fractured.
There’s constant context-switching between instruction, regulation, documentation, communication, and care.
Over and over.
That kind of cognitive load doesn’t wave a red flag.
But it sends a quiet signal that shows up as perseverance, staying late, and coming back on the weekends.
I don’t know exactly what this teacher needs.
But after twenty years leading in schools and five years working closely with leaders as a coach, I have a strong hunch.
And it’s NOT:
another strategy
better time management
encouragement to push harder
I think she may need something less comfortable and hopefully far more supportive:
I think she may need me to initiate a conversation she’s too exhausted — or too afraid — to start herself
I think she may need someone to name that doing it all isn’t the expectation
I think she may need clear, explicit permission to do less
And I haven’t given it yet.
And I’m realizing that not saying anything is also a decision.
Next week, I’ll share what it looks like to actually lead that conversation.
TIP OF THE WEEK
Give Permission Before Burnout Does
Here’s a leadership truth we don’t talk about enough:
Some of our strongest people are overwhelmed because no one has told them what they’re allowed to stop doing.
Great teachers often come early, stay late, and carry the load quietly.
And by the time exhaustion shows up visibly, it’s been building for a long time.
This week, try this:
Notice who never drops anything. Who are the quiet ones who keep it all running?
Pay attention to silence. Who has stopped naming challenges or asking questions?
Interrupt busyness with clarity. Ask: “What’s essential right now — and what could wait?”
Say the quiet part out loud. Name explicitly what is optional, not just what is expected.
No new initiatives needed
No long meetings.
No added supports.
Instead, remove pressure.
Sustainable leadership makes it safe for people to put something down.
If this resonates, you’re not alone.
These are exactly the kinds of conversations we wrestle with inside the Ruckus Maker Mastermind.
If you’re craving space to think this through with other thoughtful leaders, come join us.
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