The locked door that changed how I lead ...

OFF CAMPUS

• 🦾 Threat or Superpower? William Grube joins me on the RuckusCast to discuss how AI is changing education. Watch or listen here.

• 💭 We can do it, if this is true … Check out these 9 constraint flipping prompts that will unlock AIs promise in K12 education.

• 📖 No reading allowed! A Math teacher was scorned by her principal for allowing her student to read in class. Thoughts?

• 🧠 Smart Kid: Here is one high school senior’s take on AI. According to her, AI is “demolishing” her education.

DO SCHOOL DIFFERENT

The Way Things Are

I pull into the my garage and sprint out of the car because I’m late for a meeting.

I get to the door that connects the garage to my house.

I go to open the door.

And it’s locked.

I can’t wrap my mind around WHY it’s locked … Because in my head …

A door that is secured by multiple motion sensing cameras, a closed garage door, and an alarm system (in a VERY safe neighborhood) …

This isn’t the kinda door that needs to be locked!

That is, unless, you live with someone who watches way too much Dateline (and other true crime shows) …

Where terrible people successfully dodge motion detecting cameras, hotwire garage doors, and disarm alarms …

Breaching three layers of security like it’s Mission Impossible and murder innocent suburban women in the middle of the day.

If that’s the kind of TV you watch all the time …

Then you lock that door.

My wife Miriam does this to feel safe. But it frustrates the HELL out of me.

Now I LOVE my wife A LOT …

• She’s the kindest person I’ve ever met

• She’s super smart

• We make memories traveling the world together

I LOVE her soooo much.

But in this moment she sucks for locking the door.

I’m frustrated.

So I bang and bang on the door. I mean really bang on the door, “BAM BAM BAM,” like a madman.

Eventually my wife opens the door.

She looks frightened and I run to my meeting.

While running up to my home office

I am filled with shame. And regret.

This is a nasty habit that I have formed.

A pattern that keeps popping up in my life.

I wonder why. I wonder why this keeps happening to me. I wonder why nothing changes.

It’s with a friend unpacking something that bothers me, where I’m arguing my point and proving why I’m right …

My friend blows my mind with a single word/

“Maybe.”

What do you mean MAYBE?!?

I’m right. They’re wrong.

This is the way EVERYONE sees this issue …

“Maybe.” My friend says.

For much of my life, I’ve seen things as

• Black and white

• Right and wrong

• White Sox and Cubs

And with one word, “Maybe …”

A door opens to Do Things Different.

Maybe my way isn’t the only way …The best way … Or right way

It’s always the stories we tell ourselves that get us in trouble.

One of my favorite books is called The Art of Possibility.

The book helps the reader move from a framework of scarcity to a framework of possibility.

One important concept in The Art of Possibility is the idea of “The Way Things Are”

According to the authors: Most of life’s frustrations is because we do not accept the way things are …

That is because of the stories we tell.

When we believe that our experience should play out a certain way …

And when that story or expectation is violated …

BAD. THINGS. HAPPEN.

We get upset.

Just like me and the door.

The door should be unlocked. That’s what I say in my mind.

But in reality it’s locked.

My expectation is violated. I experience anger. About a locked door.

The way things should be and how they really are in reality is a very important lesson to learn.

It has taken me decades to figure this out.

I’m still kinda figuring it out.

I probably should have learned this lesson back in high school.

I was going on a date with my girlfriend at the time to see

A new movie with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. So I call my mom to let her know our plans.

After all, I’m the first born. And like all first borns I’m responsible.

• Except for the time I crawled into the house naked after drinking vodka for the first time.

• Or the time I nearly fell off the 10th story of a London hotel because I was hiding from people looking for me.

• Or the time I applied to one college … just one … and somehow got in.

Besides those lapses in judgment. I’m responsible.

So I call home.

“Mom” I say. “I’m going to Anger Management.”

To which my mom replies: “I’m so proud of you.”

“No mom. I’m going to the movie Anger Management with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson.”

“Okay honey.”

My mom’s response makes me mad. But at the time I take no ownership of what she said. Or why she said it.

But eventually I kinda … maybe … figure things out …

I’m able to move from being upset to calm more easily, because I monitor and observe, the stories I’m telling myself.

I pull into the garage. I attempt to open the door. To get inside my house.

It’s locked.

I lift my fist to bang on the door like a madman

And then it’s as if I can see myself — like in a movie.

I take a breath.

I realize something: I have keys!

So I go into my pocket. Grab my keys.. Unlock the door. And break the pattern.

A shift has occurred.

It starts on the inside. Something only I can notice and savor.

But after some time it grows.

And those around me can see the change as well.

TIP OF THE WEEK

Stories Are Better Than Data

The reason your last staff meeting put everyone to sleep is that you used a slide deck with way too much text, corny jokes, and data. And data. And more data.

Which is boring and not inspiring at all.

But if they knew how to tell a good story …

Their staff would “get it” and accomplish the leader’s vision for campus.

I’m going to The Moth this Tuesday. Hopefully I get selected and win. If you don’t know what The Moth is, here’s a video of me speaking there from this summer.

My storytelling mentor has won the most Moth competitions in the world. And I’m thinking of teaching a small group of leaders everything I have learned from him.

So if you’d like to speak in a way that:

• Gets your message across in 5 minutes or less.

• Actually moves people to action.

• Makes you the leader people remember.

Hit “reply” to this email and just write STORY in the body and click SEND.

Because when leaders can't tell stories, their vision dies in committee meetings.

You’re not committing to anything, but just waving your hand that you’d like to improve your story telling skills (and become an even better communicator).

ALBA