When’s the last time someone asked you a question that stopped you in your tracks?
For Mastermind members, that happens most weeks.
Today, we’re talking about great questions and the three values that make you a better leader.
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DO SCHOOL DIFFERENT
Better Questions, Better Leaders
My favorite part of the week lasts about five seconds.
A principal takes the hot seat.
They lay out the problem, the timeline, and some options they’re considering.
Then a peer three time zones away unmutes and asks a zinger.
The Zoom room goes quiet.
That pause is it.
I coach a cohort in the Ruckus Maker Mastermind, and I get to revel in it every session.
A Ruckus Maker is a school leader who refuses to default to the status quo and is building a campus experience worth showing up for.
The Mastermind is where those leaders meet each week.
There are several groups and coaches, and it’s been running with many of the same faces since 2016.
We open with wins.
We share our goals and dreams.
Then somebody brings their hardest problem to the group.
Veronica Holyoke joined as an assistant principal in Utah. On the podcast, she told Danny she had “never been a part of anything where better questions were asked.”
I agree with her.
I started as a member myself and felt it right away.
Those questions grow out of three values at the center of this community.
Danny calls them the ABCs: Authenticity, Belonging, and Challenge.
They are the backbone of his book Mastermind, and you can hear him read it chapter by chapter, too.
A is for Authenticity
People bring the whole story to our weekly meetings. Even the parts they feel unsure about.
That takes time to build.
Most of us arrive with the tidy account, like we might describe if the superintendent asked.
The group listens and then points out what is missing.
One member described a plan she had trimmed until every stakeholder could live with it.
A colleague asked:
Where are you shrinking yourself to make this easier?
She sat back in her chair and paused.
The plan she wanted was the first thing she had cut.
B is for Belonging
School leadership is lonely at every level.
APs feel it too.
A hard stretch can start to feel like proof that you are the problem.
We share those moments.
Members often think that their situation is probably unique.
Who else has had a week like this?
You can just picture the response: a message popping up in the chat, hands going up across the screen, a relieved response.
It makes me laugh and my shoulders drop, just thinking about it.
In the Mastermind, you’re in good company.
C is for Challenge
The third value builds on the previous two.
You’ve told the full story.
You trust the people who are listening.
So when a peer pushes you a little, you are able to hear it.
That kind of coaching doesn’t take long to reframe your thinking.
Consider the AP who spent months waiting on a district decision before starting something his school needed.
Someone asked:
Whose permission are you waiting for?
He began the next day.
A Coach Approach
Each question is fewer than ten words.
A short question leaves the other person room to think.
That is how coaches work. We ask an open question, and then we wait.
The person on the hot seat usually holds the answer already. A good one helps them hear it.
It carries more weight coming from a fellow leader who has lived a similar experience and can relate.
Ask our members what changed their year, and many will answer with a question they heard in the weekly meeting.
The same approach works well outside our sessions too.
Danny’s term for that practice is Selfmentorship: coaching yourself between meetings.
Look back over the one that gave you pause.
Write it at the top of tomorrow’s page.
Answer it before your day starts to heat up.
And if you’d like to go deeper, we meet every week.
TIP OF THE WEEK
Practice Your ABCs
If you have a problem, a few good questions, and a few minutes to yourself, you can put these principles to work.
Take ten minutes and find a quiet corner.
1. Put the problem on paper (1 minute)
State the problem in two sentences, maximum.
The staffing decision. The parent. The stalled initiative.
Keeping it brief lets you look at it from the outside.
2. Ask three questions (2 minutes each)
Pick a question from each row and respond by hand.
Authenticity: What part are you leaving out? Who are you trying to sound like? What do you want?
Belonging: Who else knows? Who is in this with you? Who do you need to let in?
Challenge: What have you already decided? If you say yes to this, what are you saying no to? What’s the bold move you’re holding back on?
3. Wait (30 seconds each)
When you run out of words, keep the pen on the page and count to thirty. Then add another line.
A great coach waits a beat to see what else might arise.
4. Choose one move (1 minute)
Read back over what you wrote.
Circle the sentence that surprised you.
Decide on an action you can take in the next 24 hours, and tell a colleague what it is.
Run it again next week with a different trio of questions.
SUNDAY VIBES
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Whenever you’re ready, here’s 3 ways we can help you on your Selfmentorship journey.
If your campus runs you instead of you running it, meet Digital Danny — your 24/7 Ruckus Maker coach. Start here.
Experience weekly coaching and peer mentorship. Surround yourself with other Ruckus Makers in the mastermind. Apply here.
Keep Making a Ruckus,
PS … too little, too late